I absolutely adore this time of year. With wedding season not that far away, evenings and weekends are full of conversations with couples as we start to work on their wedding ceremonies. I’ve put together this little guide of things to tell you wedding celebrant although the advice works for any style of ceremony. Over the years, I’ve found that the key to smooth celebrations is always communication - when people know what you want, they can make sure everything is perfect. So, here are ten details to share with your celebrant so that they can lead your amazing ceremony.
Jess and Ed at Pynes House. Image by John Barwood Photography
What are your timings? Obviously your celebrant will know the start time of your ceremony but share more than that if you can. What time will guests be arriving and taking their seats? What time will any pre-ceremony music start? What time will you and your partner be arriving? As a guide, I always aim to arrive one hour before the start of each ceremony so that I have time to talk to everyone involved in the ceremony, answer any questions and even listen to practices of vows if needed.
What do you want to be called? I’m a Tamryn who’s called Tam by almost everyone I know so if you’re usually known by a shortened version of your name, decide how you’d like to be referred to in your ceremony. Similarly, do you want to be ‘the newlyweds’, ‘the bride and groom’ or ‘Mr and Mrs’ at the relevant points in your ceremony?
Are you ‘unplugged’? If you’ve decided not to allow guests to take photos during your ceremony, let your celebrant know and they can include a gentle reminder at the very start of the event.
Who has the rings? Give your celebrant the name of the keeper of the rings! I always double check before the ceremony starts that the rings are exactly where they should be.
Who’s giving readings? Now this is something your celebrant will need to know as they write your ceremony but again, names are useful! I always offer to make contact with anyone giving readings before the day and I always speak to those giving readings when I arrive. I always carry spare copies of the readings too!
Do you want to sit down? Standing in front of all your guests, particularly during summer weddings, can be a bit much so do you want to sit down? Some couples like to sit after the introductions so that they can see the reactions of their guests to the first part of the ceremony and the readings.
What’s the vibe? This is so important - what’s the vibe you’re wanting to create? Do you want a laidback, super relaxed ceremony? Or do you want something with a little more gravitas? Would you like a touch or humour or are you more about the tradition and the emotion? Similarly, I always ask about the dress code so I’m suitably attired for the moment!
What do you really want to include/exclude? Are you keen to include any ‘traditional’ wedding elements in your ceremony or do you definitely want to ditch certain things? Would you like to add in some alternative elements or are you mixing religions or cultures? Celebrants are fantastic at crafting ceremonies that work perfectly so if there’s something you’d like to incorporate, you only have to say (or ask for suggestions if you’re not sure what’s possible!).
What are you doing after the ceremony? If you need guests to move off to a particular spot at your venue for photos or drinks, let your celebrant know and they can include a line about this in the ceremony at an appropriate moment. Similarly, if you want guests to throw confetti as you walk back down the aisle, tell your celebrant and they can help you get that perfect confetti moment.
Is there anything you’re particularly worried about? This is possibly the most important thing to mention so that your celebrant can do everything possible to make sure your ceremony is just wonderful. For example, I worked with a bride who really wanted to read her own vows but was worried that, on the day, the emotion might be too much. So, we wrote two versions of the ceremony and is decided, literally in the moment, which version we went with. Everything can be managed if worries are shared.